Zombie-fication

the robot apocalypse would be redundant. there is no need for skynet to take over, Regonomics and Chicago school economics, have ensured that we all serve the machine. we are valued by our ability to contribute to economics and that is all. your value as a person is your ability to earn for the company and ability to spend indexes. Zombie-fication is a natural response to having the human part of life riped from you by the machine. If the mind is not so muted by posing for drunken pictures to be posted on social networking sites, and the constant barrage of commercials, If part of the mind does indeed retain the ability to be self aware, you surpass the hordes of zombies and become "i zombie". it is this small core of humanity rattling around after the cultural lobotomy that separates me.

third rotting foundation post

so i spend the night acting like some kind of freak, but at least its less bad as last night. Last night i went to bed not sure of what would be worse, to toss myself from my third floor window to the paved ally and live , or to do it and die. both have advantages. Tonight had the advantage of being FUCkED up enough to hold off the more potentially damaging thoughts. Like if i could make a decision the other night tonight would not have existed for me at all.

I'm not some emo fuck. i prefer rage to loathing every time... it’s just i know. And knowing i need to be distracted at all times.

it is true insanity to live to better your future and at the same time have to live to live in a way that the next moment is impossible just to make life ok to live. I have been trained to not allow what i am to be. my rage my hate my hunter-gatherer kill instinct all but completely castrated.

Its ok that i wonder amongst your aged and week. i have no "kill" thats not constrained by some type of guilt or self-loathing. the only question my logic forces to linger is "why?". Why must i have an existence that i cant end for fear of causing my mother’s tears, and potentially causing an emotional train wreak in the children unfortunate enough to be my acquaintance.

Why do i care, for feelings left in a world that i know will have no bearing on me once my mind ceases to exist. but that i don’t want to be remembered poorly by those that on occasion may remember me.

Perhaps rather than looking at why death is undo-able i ought to look at why life is unliveable. But both situations come to the same facts. i am no good at being a good person. All i wish from the world requires others to alter themselves so deeply they may as well not be them.

i have for years told others that there are 2 type of people in the world, those who fell down the bunny hole and went AAAHHHH and those that fell and went WEEEE. I have never before entered the plight of those who have been traversing this subterranean labyrinth so long that the weee has turned to an oppressive boredom.

Anyway this an Apocalypse post, and all i have to tell you is the stupid expected the Apocalypse to be an event. we never saw that it would be slow and simple and for the most part very much like yesterday. That’s why the scholars call it pre-post-apocalyptic. Cause there was no actual moment we can call the Apocalypse, but we can defiantly say that pre was ok and post sucked. .. so like i was saying ,...

It wasn't so much surviving the Apocalypse, it was allot more about questioning (in a true post-modern way) weather it ought to have been relevant...b and who the fuck knows?

loyal to a fault

We have end points for our compromise. If one wanted to kill someone you cared about, regardless of who it was, we would not compromise and offer just to “hack off a couple of limbs”, as a trade. This is obvious. So, when we speak of any of or moral standards, we are only talking about actions that fall in between certain end points. They are all context dependant, and therefor of little use when trying to decipher the overreaching rules we ought to govern our behaviours.

Let’s consider loyalty. A dog may be loyal to a master that beets him. But is this the type of behaviour that we think we ought to emulate? Is loyalty, once given, something we ought to never break? Considering divorce rates, it is safe to say that the majority of us don’t think so. The act of “cheating” is enough to absolve us of our duty of loyalty. So then loyalty is not some definite end point of action. We are loyal as long as that loyalty continues to be earned. It is a transaction. One offers loyalty to another as long as the other party continues to act in the expected way.

However to behave in a disloyal way makes us appear bad. So we must devise a way to ensure that those we appear we have a loyalty to, either deserve our loyalty or that others are aware of our reasons. For Instance, I am loyal to the store near my house by the virtue of its location. Others would not condemn me as a disloyal person if the proprietor moved the store to another area and I ceased to frequent it. Others can simply tell that my reasons for shopping there are actually based on something other than loyalty. But what of those we meet socially?

We seldom if ever actively seek out an individual to befriend on the grounds that we believe they are a worthy place to place loyalty. More often, we end up befriending those who have a mutual interest or frequent the same locations. Does this mean that we owe our loyalty to all those we know. Just because one uses the same laundry-mat as I, do I owe them my loyalty? Before you answer yes consider, I am not talking about minimum levels of respectable behaviours. Of course, I ought to not steal from them, or assault them without provocation. But loyalty involves a willingness to sacrifice. It is easy to appear Just when there is no cost. But if one is loyal then one is willing to put up with some hardship in order to better the other party. In this light, the person whom I stand across from chatting idly with, as I fold my clothing, scarcely seems worthy of any loyalty. Now I’m willing to give that at some point of continual contact this person may cross over to the realm of friend. Friends we do owe a loyalty to.

Therein lays the concern. In order to not behave in a disloyal way, I need to define who is worthy of my loyalty. What behaviours I’m willing to offer my loyalty in trade for. How do I ensure that I do not end up as the dog that is loyal to the abusive master?

I have been called immoral on the grounds that when an individual shows themselves to fail on a given ground, I will cease my friendship. I’m not talking a onetime slip in most cases, but a continuing failure to display a certain characteristic. In life we need to offer our friends support and guidance and other things, and these things require energy of us. We ought to offer this up freely and willingly. There is little if anything in this world more important than those with whom you fill your life with. I am only putting forth the idea that we need to be clear what we are trading out loyalty for.