loyal to a fault

We have end points for our compromise. If one wanted to kill someone you cared about, regardless of who it was, we would not compromise and offer just to “hack off a couple of limbs”, as a trade. This is obvious. So, when we speak of any of or moral standards, we are only talking about actions that fall in between certain end points. They are all context dependant, and therefor of little use when trying to decipher the overreaching rules we ought to govern our behaviours.

Let’s consider loyalty. A dog may be loyal to a master that beets him. But is this the type of behaviour that we think we ought to emulate? Is loyalty, once given, something we ought to never break? Considering divorce rates, it is safe to say that the majority of us don’t think so. The act of “cheating” is enough to absolve us of our duty of loyalty. So then loyalty is not some definite end point of action. We are loyal as long as that loyalty continues to be earned. It is a transaction. One offers loyalty to another as long as the other party continues to act in the expected way.

However to behave in a disloyal way makes us appear bad. So we must devise a way to ensure that those we appear we have a loyalty to, either deserve our loyalty or that others are aware of our reasons. For Instance, I am loyal to the store near my house by the virtue of its location. Others would not condemn me as a disloyal person if the proprietor moved the store to another area and I ceased to frequent it. Others can simply tell that my reasons for shopping there are actually based on something other than loyalty. But what of those we meet socially?

We seldom if ever actively seek out an individual to befriend on the grounds that we believe they are a worthy place to place loyalty. More often, we end up befriending those who have a mutual interest or frequent the same locations. Does this mean that we owe our loyalty to all those we know. Just because one uses the same laundry-mat as I, do I owe them my loyalty? Before you answer yes consider, I am not talking about minimum levels of respectable behaviours. Of course, I ought to not steal from them, or assault them without provocation. But loyalty involves a willingness to sacrifice. It is easy to appear Just when there is no cost. But if one is loyal then one is willing to put up with some hardship in order to better the other party. In this light, the person whom I stand across from chatting idly with, as I fold my clothing, scarcely seems worthy of any loyalty. Now I’m willing to give that at some point of continual contact this person may cross over to the realm of friend. Friends we do owe a loyalty to.

Therein lays the concern. In order to not behave in a disloyal way, I need to define who is worthy of my loyalty. What behaviours I’m willing to offer my loyalty in trade for. How do I ensure that I do not end up as the dog that is loyal to the abusive master?

I have been called immoral on the grounds that when an individual shows themselves to fail on a given ground, I will cease my friendship. I’m not talking a onetime slip in most cases, but a continuing failure to display a certain characteristic. In life we need to offer our friends support and guidance and other things, and these things require energy of us. We ought to offer this up freely and willingly. There is little if anything in this world more important than those with whom you fill your life with. I am only putting forth the idea that we need to be clear what we are trading out loyalty for.